Intimacy After Cancer Treatment
During cancer treatment, sex is understandably low on the list of priorities. Afterwards, many people find their sex life and sense of closeness have changed, and that nobody really prepared them for it. These changes are common, and support is available.
How cancer treatment can affect sex
The effects depend on the type of cancer and treatment, but common changes include:
- Fatigue, pain and reduced energy
- Lower desire, sometimes linked to hormonal treatment
- Vaginal dryness, narrowing or pain, particularly after pelvic radiotherapy or treatment that brings on an early menopause
- Erectile difficulties or changes to ejaculation, particularly after prostate, bladder or bowel treatment
- Changes to how your body looks or feels, such as scars, a stoma or breast surgery
- Infertility, and grief for the future you had planned
The emotional side
Cancer can change how you see yourself. Some people feel less attractive or no longer recognise their body. Anxiety about recurrence, low mood and exhaustion can all dampen desire. Partners often hold back from initiating for fear of causing pain or pressure, and both can end up feeling distant without ever talking about it.
Practical steps that help
- Ask your cancer team about sexual side effects. They are used to these questions and may offer treatments such as vaginal dilators, lubricants or erection aids
- Start with closeness that is not about sex: touch, cuddling and time together
- Talk honestly with a partner about what feels good, what hurts and what worries you
- Use lubricant generously, and go slowly
- Be patient. Recovery of sexual function and confidence can take time
Macmillan Cancer Support also has helpful information and a support line on 0808 808 00 00.
How psychosexual therapy helps
Therapy offers a space to talk about the changes cancer has brought, grieve what has been lost, and find new ways to be intimate. It can include gradual exercises to rebuild physical closeness without pressure, and support for couples to talk about sex again. As a GP as well as a psychosexual therapist, I can also help you think about physical treatments to discuss with your cancer team or GP.
Talk to a doctor-led therapist
If cancer has changed intimacy for you or your partner, you do not have to work it out alone. Psychosexual therapy can help, whenever you feel ready. Read more about psychosexual therapy, or book a confidential 30-minute consultation for £60.
Written by Dr Kahverry Rajeswaran MBBS, MRCGP, GMC-registered GP and COSRT-registered psychosexual therapist. Last reviewed: 22 October 2026. This article is general information and does not replace individual medical advice.